Stained in Red
by Micelle
Summary: You will be a good eldest brother.


Crimson warm blood leaked from the cracks and crevices of the crumbled wall.

The brothers were out in the mall that day, one of those rare events when they all go out together only to end up in a tragedy such as this — an earthquake hit their area.

When the ground started to shake and the people started to panic the brothers themselves had separated. Osomatsu moved by instinct, grabbing one of his brothers, Karamatsu, out of the way of a large glass pane falling towards them.

The angry rumble of the earth had stopped only to lay destruction behind it. The next thing both of them knew, they were inside one of the shops, under shattered glasses and collapsed concrete.

"Hold on, you can do this!" He was determined to lift the boulder from his brother. He could see the bloodied marks on the stone and knew that he was crushed under that.

There was so much blood on both Karamatsu and Osomatsu, shirts stained in red with only one of them as source.

"You be a good big brother now...you need to find the others and make sure they are safe…" His brother said with a shaky breathy laugh.

" _You'll be a good eldest brother."_

A light moved in front of his eyes and he could feel his eyes followed its direction.

Muffled voices swirl around him with barely no recognition of what they were saying. Slowly the words started to get clearer and when he focused, only then did it start to make sense.

"no sign of concussion or any serious injury.. we found an id… oh he's coming to…" He could hear the words now.

"wha..?"

"Matsuno Osomatsu?" the person with the light asked him.

'That's not right. I have my ID on my jacket. Why do I have Osomatsu's ID?'

'Ah.' he thought, vaguely remembering how they were trying on different clothes at the mall. He must've picked up the wrong jacket by mistake again, since they were all wearing matching light blue.

"He's not responding…bring him inside." The person said.

He felt his body being lifted up and taken inside in what he thought was an ambulance.

"There's another one here! Whoah He looks just like him." It was a guy's voice that screamed from afar.

He moved his eyes towards the direction. 'That's my brother. Help him. PLEASE.'

The door of the ambulance came to a close; and slowly when he breathed the pure oxygen with the lull of the anesthesia delivered by his mask, he fell into a deep slumber.

They said, by 'they' pertaining to those heartless adults the brothers encountered as children, that the sextuplets looked so similar that if one of them vanished no one would even notice.

Someone would. Their parents certainly would. The other brothers surely would. They were not heartless enough not to care. Shitty and fucked up? Yes. But at least they care about each other.

"He's awake!" A hoarse voice screamed.

"Shh Jyushimatsu, we're in the hospital." Another reprimanded.

"But oniisan's awake!"

He opened his eyes and looked at the four worried faces that stared at him.

"Bura—" He was about to joke, to make light of the situation that he was in.

But he did not even have to finish his words when Choromatsu suddenly embraced him and cried the instant they touched.

"Don't do that again, Osomatsu-niisan! You big big shitty brother."

The others followed and threw themselves to him as well. "Osomatsu-niisan!" They cried.

He stopped. Instantly processing what was happening, particularly the name they called him. He was scared — terrified of the tragedy's aftermath, of the answer to his question but he needed to ask.

"What happened to Karamatsu?"

The tears then slowly faded to a sob until the room became quiet. The brothers all looked around each other waiting for someone to answer him.

"Karamatsu's gone Osomatsu-niisan. He didn't make it." It was Todomatsu who answered.

Memories flashed before his eyes. The deep crimson blood painted his blue shirt. His crying face and the smiling face of his dearest brother before him. He was smiling, urging him to be strong, ordering him to take care of his brothers, telling him to be the best older brother he could ever be.

" _You'll be a good eldest brother."_

Jyushimatsu suddenly embraced him again with a wail that could break even the coldest of hearts.

He looked at their faces and saw how they looked at him, unsure, scared and grieving. Like four lost children that were abandoned by the world.

These were the brothers that needed an older brother now more than ever, a dependable brother who would be strong for all of them.

He opened his arms and they all clung to him and continued their cries.

He was always a cry-baby, the older brother that no one respected and the one who would always stay aside to quietly watch and agree with all his brothers. But not right now, right now he was the center of attention, the one they were all looking and depending on. He was now their foundation, the rock that would give them strength.

Blue drenched in deep red blood made him look like he was wearing red. It was a stain that he could no longer remove and one that he had no heart to wash away in the first place.

Karamatsu also wanted to cry, but Osomatsu would never. A real eldest child would only embrace them all and hush them to calm their hearts — and that's exactly what he did.

They used to imitate each other all the time. It was a normal thing to do especially when there's six of you with the same face. This kind of deception was nothing, it was so easy for them to copy the other's identity down to the smallest mannerisms and voices.

He could still do it until now, but he had to admit though, that it was easier when they were younger.

Karamatsu is dead.

That much is true, but even as he saw his cold body with his own eyes he still could not accept it. He had a truth inside his heart that was far different from the truths the world knew. It was a truth he could never voice out, until the day he dies.

He was strong in front of them. He did not wince nor fall out of character. He lived every single day in a dream-like trance, watching himself from afar and making sure he was doing what he can to live like the eldest brother he wanted to be and what they needed him to be.

The days passed and he was discharged from the hospital without ever telling his brothers his truth. How long could he keep this charade up?

He imagined that it would be hard to do this on the day of the funeral, but he was wrong, it was a hundred times harder and more painful. His expectations were nothing compared to the hard reality slapping him in the face. He had lost the number of times he wanted to vomit and had to find a dark corner to cry alone.

"Osomatsu-niisan?" It was Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu.

"What is it bura—" he cleared his throat and said "you need me?"

"Are you crying?" Choromatsu suddenly asked.

He wiped his eyes and grinned. He could feel that wasn't enough so he rubbed his nose. He scolded himself inside his head for showing a weakness his brother would never show.

"Sorry, just got something in my eyes." he lied.

"Niisan. Please be more honest with yourself. It wasn't your fault. It's not anyone's." Todomatsu said, straining his hoarse voice in order to speak.

"I know. It's just…"

"Wherever he is right now I'm sure Karamatsu-niisan is happy that you were alive." Choromatsu's voice shook as he spoke.

He shook his head as the bile came up his throat once more. He felt his heart squeezed and ache. Unconsciously he closed his eyes and the urge to vomit was fresh in his mouth.

But instead of gastric juices, he vomited words, "I have to tell you something."

He had all of their attention now. Four eyes stared back at him in anticipation to whatever he was to say next. He was the eldest and all of these were just things he needed to get used to.

"You see… Karamatsu isn't dead." He swallowed, his very voice felt like a mouthful.

"W-What do you mean?" Choromatsu looked like he was panicking. Cold sweat running down his chin.

Todomatsu looked at Choromatsu with worry, hoping the third son would not suddenly break down.

"I'm Karamatsu." He told them all. "It is Osomatsu that died back there." He revealed.

Choromatsu finally snapped, stepping forward and landing his palm fiercely on his older brother's face.

He was surprised. He blinked, frozen in place as he watched Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu hold back the raging Choromatsu.

"Let me go! No. **NO**."

"Stop it Choromatsu-niisan." Todomatsu called out shielding the now revealed Karamatsu behind him.

"This is not fair! How dare you kill yourself like that. This is not fair. Don't just blame yourself! You're not the only one grieving his death… so don't you dare."

He watched Choromatsu struggle against Ichimatsu and Jyushimatsu, with Jyushimatsu holding most of him. They too were already starting to cry, as upon seeing their older brothers like this must be too much for them. He saw Choromatsu's strength dwindle slowly until his brother fell unto his knees, wailing until his eyes drown in tears.

Todomatsu turned around and looked at his older brother, unbelieving of the claim he said, "Choromatsu-niisan's right though... Stop this now Osomatsu-niisan."

He pulled out his own voice and spoke to them, "but… BUT"

"Don't you think we won't recognize our own brother." Ichimatsu looked directly at him and said with a clear voice. He had not been talking for a long time, only to save his voice for a time like this. "Do you think changing your voice and acting weird would make us not see who you are."

"Who…am… I then?" He feared the question for he was sure of who he was,

"You're Osomatsu!" Choromatsu screamed in pure anguish, "Who else?"

The third son bent and bowed on the floor as he continued to cry loudly.

From his point of view, it was as if Choromatsu was begging on his feet, grovelling with tears with his face red from crying. Choromatsu's shoulders shook as he tried to catch his breath in between his wailing.

It was too much. This hurt.

"Choromatsu…" He wanted to sound cheerful, to have that light tone in his voice but he was failing so bad. "O-oi." He swallowed again.

"Now stop grovelling like that Fappymatsu! You look like a loser." There it was. _His_ voice.

Choromatsu looked up while he sniffed the running mucus from his nose. Choromatsu's eyes sparkled with his tears as his face lit up, seeing the light once more from the ground he kneeled from.

"Oso…" Choromatsu's brow furrowed deep, "Osomatsu-niisan!"

In such a dreadful day there was finally something that made Choromatsu and all the brothers hopeful.

They had already lost Karamatsu and it was truly grieving, but to lose Osomatsu as well was something they would never allow.

He might be confused right now, but if they just continue to tell him who he was he will remember that he was Osomatsu, their eldest brother.

There was no way they could be wrong. They were sextuplets after all.

He tried to lift the boulder, with every inch of his body screaming in pain as he made no progress in the ordeal. Solid concrete had crushed him helplessly underneath its weight. Blood had pooled around them, as they still remained identical with both of them soaked in dripping red.

"Hold on, you can do this!" Determination was in his voice.

"I-I don't think I can make it." He coughed blood. He was ready to give up. It was hopeless. The situation was so dire and surviving this seemed impossible. There was no such thing as miracles. "If I go away, be strong for me, ok?"

"No shut up."

"You be a good big brother now...you need to find the others and make sure they are safe…" This was his last will, the final wish he wanted him to fulfill. He could feel the end now. Death was calling for him.

"I can't. You know I can't. We need you! Please hold on…"

He tried to lift once more but the other just watched him as he tried. He was so proud of him and was so happy to see him try his best. He cared for him. Despite of everything the world told them or despite how shitty they were to each other. At the center of all those layers of teasing, play fighting and ridiculing, they really did love each other as brothers. They were the two eldest brothers of the family and they did not want to lose one at all.

But circumstances had led this to this and there were some things that they could not change. Like the fact that he was dying. Like the fact that he would be left alone as the only eldest brother.

Like the fact that his brother would die.

"Please Karamatsu…"

"No Osomatsu..."

" _You'll be a good eldest brother."_


End file.
